seksondıbicicmekistermisin?

As once Alan Shore said "Until that live big my friend, live big." The main question here is how we can live big. How can we know what is big for us? I can tell you that I'm 19 years old and I don't have even a clue about what I want from life. Do I want to be a lawyer practising private law at a fancy office on 24th floor? Or do I want to work in somewhere like United Nations helping refugees and Cambodian child prostitudes?Which one will make me happier?
 Do I even want to do something about law?
 Do I want to fall in love with one guy and spend my whole life with him or just enjoy my life without any commitments? I hate responsibilities will I be happy if I just take my backpack and run away from everything?
Maybe it will be easier if I first think when I was happy. I was happy when I fell in love; but it had a terrible end. I was happy when I saw my parents were proud of me. I was happy when I was appreciated. But mostly I was really happy when I was abroad talking to strangers walking without knowing where to. I've always wanted to live abroad, have foreign friends. But it's not a choise I guess.
Just after 3 months I will be so close to my dream life. Living abroad, having foreign friends... But what if I hate it? It was great in Hamburg but i was so lucky in Germany. I hope things will be like that in Rotterdam too. Sometimes I scare too much that I'll loose control of my life. I'm not good at drawing the line between crazy and dangerous.
But what is life if you never loose your control?
Let's go get lost somewhere in Europe. Let's go meet someone who will help me to understand my role in life. Let's laugh too much. Let's find the answers to all these questions.